I tried to hit the picture cleanly over the fence, but it was framed.
Why can’t I ever win a game returning serve? Give me a break.
What time should I book the court? Let’s shoot for around tennish.
My friend Elmer’s has gotten really good at tennis ever since he stuck to a healthier diet and went glue-ten free.
I like my breakfast like my tennis grip: Continental.
A hippie when his opponent disputes his calls: That’s pretty far-out, man!
I’d like to throw away my old can, but my pusher friend here says he loves junk balls.
Oh, I thought I was playing the first round, but I guess I got a free pass. Bye.
I know my shot was in. But I won’t argue, because I’m not up for the challenge.
You can never get short balls over the net! Solution: Drop shot from arsenal.
Jack has a large neck so he decided to wear a bowtie to his wedding. Otherwise, he’d end up with a tiebreak.
Fred is so condescending about my tennis strokes. I can’t take any more of his backhanded compliments.
Djokovic to his friends the morning after winning the U.S. Open: Is anyone hungry for some Denny’s? Because I would like another Grand Slam.
I used to hate tennis, but ever since I’ve started winning 6-0, I love it now.
A man named Martin Draw was campaigning for the Senate. He printed up shirts saying “I’m with Draw” to support his campaign. The next day, he wore the shirt to a tennis tournament. When he walked up to the tournament desk, the director handed him his money back and asked him why he couldn’t play.
Do you always play this badly at the net? Because I don’t like your approach.
Federer is such a legend that they named the Roger’s Cup, and Fed Cup after him.
It feels great to hit the ball again. It spin a long time.
The guy missed both his serves on match point. I won by de-fault.
Is your nickname cream cheese? Because you’re about to get bageled.
Native Americans used to have their own professional tennis tournaments, and provided free housing to players from other tribes. They called it the A Tee Pee Tour. (No disrespect to Native Americans!)
I am disappointed that you are taking such a closed-stance on my footwork advice.
I want to play my match outdoors so I can hit the ball higher in the air. I’m not good at persuading people, so I’m going to hire a lob-byist.
They call me Ace, because you just got served.
I really hate these strings. I can feel it in my gut.
Is there a bathroom in this tennis club? Because I’m about to drop a deuce.
I wish they’d change the scoring system, but tennis is set in its ways and doesn’t see the point.
The last thing I can remember was the yellow ball speeding toward me. I swung the racquet, and then things got fuzzy.
The classiest indoor tennis facilities serve bubble tea.
Pick-up line: You might as well play be a tennis player, because I’m about to court you girl.