Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
What does a horse call its treats?
My greatest preakness.
Where do the cool horses live?
In rad-docks.
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? Jockey.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
Where do most horses work for their first job?
Re-tail stores.
Why did the pony turn himself in?
He felt rem-horse.
Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
You didn’t turnout.
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
Where do horses get their weaves from?
Mane.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
Why did the horse like her new backpack?
The straps were adju-stable.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
What natural disaster took out the ancient horses?
A volcanic stirruption.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
What do you call a horse going down a waterslide?
Horseback sliding.
What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
Docked.
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
How do horses greet each other?
“Hayyyyy.”
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.