Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
What’s the spiciest way to clean a horse?
With a curry comb.
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
What do ponies look for in a vehicle?
Lots of horsepower.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
What natural disaster took out the ancient horses?
A volcanic stirruption.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
Call the marrier!
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
Why was Pegasus such a good ballerina?
He was flo-wing.
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
Docked.
How could you tell the horse was getting old?
It was wither-ing away.
What did the ponies do when it was raining? Stay ind-horse.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
They wanted it to be less green.
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.