I go through so much shampoo it's just ridiculous!
I don't know, maybe my head is bigger than most but it does say to use a cap full.
Why do people sing in the shower?
Because the audience in the toilet is sh**!
I just installed a brand new Luxe bidet!
I’ve been having a blast.
Never fart in an apple store
They don't have windows.
What do you call a basin full of denim?
A gene pool!
I made a bridge out of Kleenex.
I have truss tissues.
A dung beetle spent an entire day rolling a ball of dung up a hill, only to have it fall down to the other side...
Needless to say, he lost his sh*t.
Police have reported that a baseball themed perfume factory has blown up under mysterious circumstances.
They said it smells like Foul Play.
I could have sworn that my skin had changed color
But it was just a pigment of my imagination.
If you take a dump on a stump...
Does that make it a toilet tree?
I ran out of deodorant.
I guess I'll go online and odor some more.
I wanted to redo the flooring in my bathroom, but I did not have enough tiles...
It was a few'tile effort.
Why did the tooth see a therapist?
To get to the root of their problems.
Where do cow farts come from?
The dairy air.
Thieves broke into my house and stole everything but my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant...
Dirty Bastards.
Why is your nose in the middle of your face?
Because it's the scenter.
I wanted to do the dishes and wasn’t sure where I put the dish soap.
Then it Dawned on me.
Some people stand up off the toilet before they flush, but I don’t
I don’t want to see that sh**!
Dung Beetles know how to keep their sh** together.
What did the duck say when she purchased new lipstick?
"Put it on my bill."
My Buddhist friend just gave me a “Nirvana” scented perfume.
It smells like Teen Spirit.
What did the flirty shower head say?
"Every naked person I see turns me on!"
What do you call a tree without teeth?
A gumtree.
What do you call it when you need a break at work and go to the bathroom even though you don't need to go?
A sham poo.
What do you call two beautiful cat that sit together in the basin?
Purrfectly in sink.
My mother always told me that the best place to mend clothing is in a wash basin
but I don't sink sew.
This lady at the supermarket is staring at me, like she's never seen anyone put on deodorant...
And then put it back on the shelf.
What type of poo smells good?
Shampoo.
Two monkeys get in a bath. The first one say’s “ooh ooh aah ooh aah”
The second one say’s “well put some cold water in it then”
People who pretends to never go taking a dump are full of sh**.
"Have you seen our toilet roll?" asked my wife.
"Don't be silly," I replied.
"A toilet is a stationary object."
What’s that Nevada city where all the dentists visit?
Floss Vegas.
If you’re Russian to the bathroom, Finnish when you leave, what are you while you are in?
European.
Why don’t Satanic boats ever sink?
Because they’re Unholy.
What makes it okay for bats to just poop wherever they want?
For a bat, every room is the batroom.
My wife says to me this morning "Our son's toothbrush is getting fraid"
I say "What's it so fraid of?"
Once we were so poor, we only had a calendar to use as toilet paper.
Now those days are behind me.
Why do toilet paper rolls have trust issues?
They're always getting ripped off.
My Dad always told me to stand on a bottle of shampoo at job interviews...
That way I'd be 'head & shoulders' above the competition.
The other day my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally gave her a glue stick....
She still isn't talking to me.
Have you ever seen a girl done makeup while camping?
It's pretty in tents.
I was in the toilet for so long, I finally said to myself...
I'm getting too old for this s**t.
Why did the skunk cross the road?
To get to the odor side.
Dung beetle walks into a bar....
"Is this stool taken?"
What do you call a tariff on skin?
A tax-a-dermis!
Whoever came up with the word dentures really missed an opportunity to call it "Substi-tooths"
The urinals were broken at my dad's work
He had to walk a long distance to go to the bathroom. When the plumber came and informed him the urinals were fixed, my dad told him "I'm relieved!"
All the toilets in the police station have disappeared and they are asking for witnesses.
They currently have nothing to go on.
Which letters stand in line to the public restroom?
What do you call a bathroom line?
A P,Q.
I tried giving my cat a bath and it sucked...
I couldn't get the fur off my tongue for a week.