What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?
Shark Trek.
Why did the shark spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny.
What’s a shark favorite substance?
Reefer.
Why did the shark cross the great barrier reef?
To get to the other tide.
How does a shark greet a fish?
Pleased to eat you.
I’ve just read that according to statistics, donkeys kill more people every year than sharks.
I better watch my ass.
What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
It got lockjaw.
What’s a shark’s favorite bible story?
Noah’s Shark.
How did the hammerhead do on his test?
He nailed it.
I was at the beach today when I saw a man in the sea yelling “Help, shark! Help!”
I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
Calling my new dog “Shark” was a mistake.
I’ve been banned from all my local beaches.
What’s the great white shark’s favorite candy?
Jaw-Breakers.
What’s a shark’s favorite movie?
The Shaw-shark Redemption.
What kind of shark is always gambling?
A card shark.
The last ten times I’ve been to a fancy dress party, I’ve gone as a shark.
The joke’s wearing fin.
Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
What do you call a rubber bumper on a yacht?
A shark absorber.
Where are sharks from?
Finland!
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
What do sharks order at McDonalds?
A quarter flounder.
How did the shark do on his test?
Fin-Tastic!
What type of ice cream do fish like to eat?
Shark-o-late!
What do you call a shark that can’t stop singing “U Cant Touch This?”
An M.C. Hammerhead.
What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
You get as far away as possible.
What do yuppie sharks like to drink?
Jaw-va.
What's a shark's favorite hobby?
Anything he can sink his teeth into.
I just saw a huge killer fish singing and playing guitar in the city center.
I think it must be a busking shark.
Did you hear about the aquarium owner?
His shark was worse than his pike.
What kind of sharks make good carpenters?
Hammerheads.
What do you get when you cross a shark with a snowman?
Frostbite.
What is a sharks favorite kinda sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish!
How did the shark plead in its murder trial?
Not gill-ty.
I had a nightmare about being attacked by a shark.
When I woke up I realized it was just a bream.
Where do sharks go on vacation?
Fin-land.
What did the shark say to the whale?
What are you blubbering about?
What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?
An animal that talks your head off.
What was the shark’s favorite Tim Burton film?
Edward Scissorfins.
What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish?
A loan shark
There’s a lot of debate over where the best place to punch a shark is.
Personally, I think it’s the sea.