What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.
How do Penguins drink their cola?
On the rocks.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
What does a magician penguin say?
“Pick a cod, any cod…”
What do you call a cold penguin?
A Brrr-d.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball!
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd.
What is a penguin racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
What birds like to write?
Penguins!
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets!
What’s a penguin’s favorite salad?
Iceberg lettuce!
Where does a 500-pound penguin sit?
Anywhere it wants.
How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
Why don’t Penguins like rock music?
They only like sole.
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
What do Penguins like to eat?
Brrrrrrrritos.
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
What do penguins sing at a birthday party?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position!
Who is a penguin’s favourite family member?
Aunt Artica.
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
What does an evil penguin lay?
Deviled eggs.
Why are there no penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
What’s black, white and red all over?
A penguin with a sunburn.
Where do penguins go swimming?
At the South Pool!
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
How does a penguin build it’s house?
Igloos it together.
Where do penguins go to the movies?
At the dive-in!
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-bergers!
Why was the penguin popular?
Because he was an ice guy.
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
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