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Horse Puns

What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?
Bronchitis.
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
How does a horse drink wine?
With a de-canter.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
Why does a horse’s hair always look so good?
She mane-tains it.
How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him?
He herd.
How do horses greet each other?
“Hayyyyy.”
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.