What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? Jockey.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
You didn’t turnout.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
Where do horses get their weaves from?
Mane.
What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
How could you tell the horse was getting old?
It was wither-ing away.
How do horses greet each other?
“Hayyyyy.”
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him?
He herd.
What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
Call the marrier!
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
What do ponies look for in a vehicle?
Lots of horsepower.
What’s the spiciest way to clean a horse?
With a curry comb.
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
Docked.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
Why is Pegasus so smart?
He’s all kno-wing.
Why does a horse’s hair always look so good?
She mane-tains it.
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.