All our puns are here, and it's gonna get punny...

Funny Puns

Never talk to me about fashion
It just goes in one year and out the other
I have been saying "mucho" more often while talking to my Hispanic friends
It means a lot to them.
Thank you for teaching me about bargaining
It means a great deal.
My friend wasn't accepted for a teaching job because he was cross-eyed
They thought he wouldn't be able to control his pupils.
Teaching babies to walk is hard
But you just gotta take in one step at a time
What did the dog say when he sat down on sand paper?
Rough.
Never trust math teachers who use graph paper.
They're *always* plotting something.
Billy turned in his art project and his teacher said, “This piece of paper has nothing on it?”
Billy replied “I know, I drew a blank.”
There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.
He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
Want to hear a joke about paper?
Nevermind, it's tearrible.
I ate the exam paper
Which means that sooner or later I will pass the test
I ate the exam paper
Which means that sooner or later I will pass the test
A man showed up for a duel armed only with a pencil and paper.
He then proceeded to draw his weapon.
A soda company printed Michael Jackson on all of their cans
He really is the king of pop
Why do Swedish battleships have barcodes printed on the sides?
So that when they return to port they can scandinavyin.
What did snow white say when she came out of the photo booth?
Some day my prints will come.
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
I've invented a machine that prints money.
I programmed it to make coins, but for some reason it keeps printing dollar bills....
It makes no cents.
My coworkers brought me a bunch of cards to celebrate my birthday
Each one gave me one with a single word printed on it. The first said "extravagant", while the next one said "surplus". These were followed by cards that said "abundance", "excess", and "overflowing". Before I read any more I had to stop because I was overcome with emotion. It was all too much.
If a robber robs a house under renovation and accidentally leaves his handprint on wet cement,
Does that mean that the police have concrete evidence?
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
Follow the fresh prints.
An Iranian entrepreneur opened a copy shop.
It's called *Prints of Persia*.
"Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible."
"Well, tell him I can't see him right now."
Moses had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.
Sadly, hydrogen and helium broke things off. But they still think of each other... periodically.
Unfortunately, the jumper cables are getting a divorce. They just had no spark.
Why did Comic Sans divorce Times New Roman? He just wasn’t her type.
It’s been a few years since the invisible man married the invisible woman.
Their kids are nothing to look at.
Why did the King of Hearts marry the Queen of Hearts?
They were perfectly suited to each other.
Did you hear about the notebook who married a pencil? She finally found Mr. Write.