Why did the kraken eat 5 ships that were carrying potatoes?
Because nobody can eat just one potato ship.
I used to be a werewolf but I’m ok noooooooooooow!!
What time do zombies wake up?
At ate o’clock!
What kind of TV does a skeleton watch?
A skelevision.
Witches get so excited to decorate their cauldron because their favorite hobby is witchcraft.
Have you heard about a man who became a werewolf?
He was distressed at first, but then he took a lycan to it.
Why are Ghosts so lonely? They have nobody to lean on.
Why did the Ghost turn down the job? He could not see himself doing it.
What did Frankenstein say when he was struck by lightning?
Great! A jolt to the bolt!
Many people think that the Abominable Snowman doesn't exist...
Yeti does.
I walked past Mozart's grave.
He was sitting up, shouting "Braaiinnss" and ripping up all his music.
I guess he's a decomposer now.
What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? He is mist.
Dr. Frankenstein just placed an order on Amazon.
It wasn't expensive, but I imagine the shipping cost him an arm and a leg.
Who did the ghost invite to his party? Any old friend he could dig up.
The ghost was told off when he spook out of turn.
I’ve found that dressing up like this has truly been an en-witching experience.
What a werewolf movie, talk about howling!
What do Ghosts say when they are impressed? - That was spectre-cular!
Sad to hear that Baron von Frankenstein has given up on his dream of being an actor.
He couldn’t get the parts.
The mom to the naughty vampire said to him, “Watch your battitude, that is not how you talk to your elders.”
Why is it good to drink witch's brew?
It's very newt-tricious!
Why did the hotel staff dress as witches for Halloween?
Because they provided broom service!
Why do skeletons drink so much milk?
It’s good for the bones!
Which soccer position does a Ghost play? Ghoulkeeper, of course.
What do you get when you cross a goblin, a stop sign, and immortality?
An everlasting gobstopper!
What tree monster prowls the forest?
Frankenpine.
Halloween was nearly over, and the zombie was hurrying to get back to her tomb before the sun came up.
She was rushing so much, she didn't even notice the headstone was the wrong shape before she got in. It was a grave mistake.
A pirate I know likes clothes made by an Italian fashion giant...
He dresses in Argh-mani suits.
Please wait, bewitcha in a minute.
The zombie astrologer writes really scary predictions.
They're horror-scopes.
What do you do with a green ghoul?
Wait until it ripens!
Did you hear about the zombie after-school club?
It's dead in that place.
What do vampires use when baking cakes?
Batter.
What is a witch's favorite makeup?
A ma-scare-a.
Why didn’t the skeleton play football?
His heart wasn’t in it.
What do you call a little ghost with a torn sheet? A hole-y terror.
What do bats say to vampires?
“You suck!”
When they want to relax, ghosts have a boo-ble bath.
Someone who does not become a witch until they're old is a late broomer.
When a Minotaur considers himself an optimist is it that he sees his glass as half-bull?
Werewolf Weather Furcast: Tomorrow we expect heavy showers.
How are zombies like computers?
They use mega-bites!
I met an annoying squid who wanted to become a comedian.
He wouldn’t stop kraken jokes.
Why did the troll kiss the witch?
To keep her busy in love!
What do you call a ghost who haunts fireplaces? A toastie ghostie.
Why do vampires eat lentils?
Because they are so into pulses.
Why is Frankenstein always asking for help?
He’s looking for someone to give him a hand.
Which building do vampires always visit when in New York?
The Vampire State Building.
Afraid he wouldn’t get into college the skeleton spent the weekend boning up on algebra.
Vampires are not even real. Unless you Count Dracula.