"Hi, I'm Buzz Aldrin. Second person to step on the moon.
Neil before me."
Warning! Do not look at the sun through a colander.
You'll strain your eyes.
What do you call an alien spaceship that's leaking water?
A crying saucer.
What is the best way to observe the two planets between Jupiter and Neptune?
Saturn Uranus.
What kind of magazines would the planets prefer to read? Cosmos.
What do you call people who go to space? Icetronauts.
When God integrated Planet Earth, he didn’t forget his integral calculus lesson.
He remembered to add the sea.
Why do you think is the moon bald? Because it has no ‘air.
Dud you know Astronauts said steaks are better in space?
They're a little meteor.
I telephoned the tennis star Serena Williams for an interview and asked her, “What’s your favourite planet?”
Her: It’s Venus.
Me: Sorry Venus, would you put Serena on the phone?
Wanna know a way for werewolves to howl other than the full moon?
Make them stub their toe.
What all kinds of stars wear the sunglasses? The movie stars.
What do planets like to read?
Comet books.
Flat-Earthers hate the fact our planet is spherical, whereas Asgard is flat.
It's a Thor subject for them.
The sun replies: I hurt everyone when they come close to me.
What is an astronauts favourite type of shirt?
Apollo
Living costs on the moon would probably be out of this world.
Have you found the center of gravity yet? It’s the letter v.
I’m currently reading a book on anti-gravity and it’s impossible to put it down.
The moon landing is obviously fake.
The moon is clearly still up there.
What kind of light goes around the earth? A Satel-lite.
Can an Australian with poor vision clearly see the moon?
No, but a "good eye might."
Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped in gum?
He got stuck in Orbit.
Why does NASA give astronauts pencils to use in space?
Because they've got the Write Stuff.
When astronauts die, the local papers run an orbituary.
When should astronauts retire?
When they start spacing out.
Where do the astronauts park their vehicles? At the parking meteors.
What type of songs do planets sing?
Nep-Tunes.
What are Astronauts doing when they do a mistake?
They Apollogize
What do you call two celebrities who get into a gun fight?
One is a shooting star, and the other is a falling star.
What is an astronaut's favorite candy bar?
Milky way.
Why did Neil Armstrong pee right after he made his first step on the moon?
He wanted to go where no man had gone before.
What ingredient is essential when baking a Star Wars cake?
Bicarbonate of Yoda
Which hot drinks space people like? Gravi-tea.
Why can’t people hear your scream in the space? Because it’s miles away.
The sun is mad at the clouds because the clouds keep throwing shade.
There's this vampire who's more powerful than any other, because he can't be hurt by the sun
All other vampires pale in comparison.
What does someone mean by a light year? The same as a regular year, but with less calories and fat.
Why does nobody invite Jupiter to the space parties? Because he has too much gas, always…
Why didnt the moon have any more to eat.
Becuase it was full
The satellite went into the orbit, right on January 1st, causing a New Year’s revolution.
Well, there are mixed reviews. People say the food is great. But there is no atmosphere or ambience.
When does the moon gets his/her stomach full? During full moon.
What various kinds of fishes live in space? Starfish.
Why did the cosmonaut take his dog to the vet?
He came down with a stellar case of lunar tics.
Why is the moon so conceited at times?
It becomes full of itself.
Where do astronauts go for lunch?
Apollo Loco.
What do you call an alien with three eyes?
An aliiien.
Scientists have found that the center of Jupiter… has the letter i.
"I heard some dictator wants to move the Earth further from the sun."
"Why??"
"Because it will take longer to make a full revolution."