I once tried crossing a flamingo with a cement mixer. Sounds crazy, but I really wanted a good brick layer.
I wondered why flamingos were so strong, so I did a little research. Turns out they do a lot of eggs-er-cise.
Flight allows flamingos to stay safe from predators. This is natural selection in action, and explains why flaminstays are extinct.
Why are flamingos such good patients?
They’re used to wading.
How do flamingos clean themselves? They flaminget a shower.
Flamingos are pretty good at ideas… They have a lot of experience with formation.
Sometime flamingos get fixated on one thing, and it can be hard to get them to see things from another pers-peck-tive.
I asked a pink bird who its favourite artist was. It looked at me strangely and replied “Flamingo Starr, of course.”
When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo,
I had to put my foot down.
Have you heard about the new book all about flamingos? Apparently it’s flying off the shelves.
Flamingos can get away with the most outrageous behaviour and you’d never know that they were embarrassed. This is because you can never tell when they are blushing.
Why couldn't anyone see the flamingo? It was in de skies.
What is a flamingo's favorite thing to do at the weekend? Play fla-bingo.
I have a flamingo friend who has a fantastic imagination, but they are always indulging in flights of fancy.
I threw water on a flamingo the other day
Now it's just an O.
Flamingos do annoy each other sometimes. Apparently this is because they enjoy ruffling feathers.
It’s really annoying being stuck behind a flamingo in a car. They literally never put their foot down.
It’s easy to spot a sad flamingo. They get really blue.
What is a pink bird's favorite kind of dance? Flamenco.
A flamingo only ever asks for a plaster when it hurts its pinky.
Flamingos are great at surfing the internet. I think it’s because they have webbed feet.
What is a flamingo's favorite ride at a theme park? The flamingo-karts.
What do you call a dead flamingo?
A flaminghost.
Flamingos are great at social events; they flamingle really well.
Flamingo parents are really cute with their babies. You should see them playing Beak a Boo.
Baby flamingos really are badly behaved. I think it’s because their parents never put their foot down.
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
There are good and bad times to buy a flamingo. Bad times are when they’re expensive, the best times are when they’re cheep.
I came across an injured flamingo the other day. I tried to help, but luckily it was already receiving medical tweetment.
Flamingos can be a bit of a daring bunch. In fact, they always fly by the seat of their pants.
Never take a flamingo to the local swimming baths. They really don’t like claw-rine.
There’s a new dish out; it’s a cross between a cake and a bird. They call it a Flan-ingo.
Our flamingo colleague was leaving for a new job recently. We all told him to flamingo for it.
How do officials start the races at the pink bird olympics? They say three... two... one... flaminGO!
Flamingos are pretty daring birds. They like just about anything, as long as it’s eggs-citing.
Large, pink birds are a good asset to a football team. They’re very used to playing flamingoalie.
I finally found out why flamingos sleep with one leg up! If they had both legs up they would fall over.
It’s really easy to send a nice card to a flamingo. You just write “Hope you have a flamingood…”
Have you ever tried setting fire to a flamingo? It’s really easy, you just burn the O.
Never trust a flamingo unless you can be sure it has fully fledged ideas.
Have you ever tried crossing a lion with a flamingo? It will be pink, that’s the mane thing.
I do find that flamingos don’t plan very well for the future… They’re too prone to putting all their eggs in the one basket.
What is a pink bird's favorite dance? Flamin-tango.
Where is a flamingo’s favourite place to dance? The hop, of course!
What is the opposite of a flamingo? The answer is, a flaminstop.
Why do flamingos make bad pets? They are too much of a birden.
Flamingos are great to go out with, because they all party like flock stars.
What soccer position does a pink flamingo play? Flamingoalie.
Some pink birds can be really rude. I approached a group of them the other day and they screamed “Flamingo away!”
What do you call a flamingo that flew into a wall?
A flamingstop.