Man: Why don't you sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
Woman: No thanks, I don't like small talk.
Roses are red, potatoes are brown; you are my favorite spud in the whole town!
Girl, if you were a dinosaur, you'd be a Gorgeousaurus.
If I could rearrange the alphabet I’d move U.
Because you’re blocking the TV.
I like 25 letters of the alphabet
But I love U.
My friend over there really wants your number so he knows where to get a hold of me in the morning.
John, look me in the eyes. All of my life I needed a strong, good looking, confident man and you
are the one who can help me find someone like that.
Hey Girl! Are you a software program?
Because you've been running in my memory all day.
Everyone knows Albert Einstein because of his research in physics. But most people don’t know about his brother who did research in monster making...
His name was Frank.
Are you a pulmonary embolism? Because you take my breath away.
Girl: Your ex is so attractive
Boy: Which one?
Girl: ME. Goodbye.
Knock knock. Who's there?
You're single again.
Boy: Want to hear a joke?
Boy: Our relationship.
Girl: Want to see a magic trick?
Girl: Poof you're single.
"Our relationship is like a fat guy."
"It's not working out."
"Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you"
"There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met - goodbye."
"Roses are red, violets are blue. We're breaking up beacause I never loved you."
"I treated this relationship like my diet, one cheat day a week."
"The longer we are together, the less serious I am about you."
"It's not because I don't like you, it's because I hate you."
"If it's meant to be it's meant to be....but just to be clear it isn't."
"Look, our relationship is like doing push ups on your knees. It's just not working out"
"We are like a broken mirror. It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself to fix it."
"My cat doesn't like you."
"This isn't easy and neither are you. I'm breaking up with you."
"I took a gamble and chose you, now i believe I made a bad bet."
"Hey babe, you heard of the movie 'Other people?'"
"I think we should see it."
"You deserve better and so do I."
My d**k is committed to you, but my heart is not.