How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello? Konnichihuahua.
What does a skunk’s car run on? Fumes.
How does a baby beetle get around? In a buggy.
What did one python say to the other before they made a deal? Let’s “snake” on it.
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”? Because the cat got his tongue.
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving? There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
Why did they take Polly away? He went crackers!
Did you hear about the crow who worked at a call Center? He was fired for Just Caws.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana? The steaks are too high.
What did the snail say to the other who had hit him and run off? I'll get you next slime!
What happened when Turbo lost his shell? He began to feel sluggish.
I felt so guilty after I stepped on a snail this morning. You should of seen him, he looked genuinely crushed.
What did the snail say as he slipped down the wall? How slime flies!
What is the definition of a slug? A snail with a housing problem!
What was the snail doing on the highway? About one mile a day!
How do snails make important calls? On shell phones.
Why is the snail the strongest animal? Because he carries a house on his back!
What does a snail wear to go dancing?? Escargogo boots.
Where do you find giant snails? At the end of giants fingers!
How do snails get their shells so shiny? They use snail varnish!
Why doesn't McDonald's serve escargot? Because it's not fast food.
What happens when two snails get into a fight? They slug it out!
Flaked tuna is a great product for both campers, and dolphins It's truly useful for all in tents, and porpoises.
What separates humans from dolphins? The surface of the water.
Why did the scientist use a drink container to communicate with dolphins? Because a bottle knows dolphin.
How can you hear the sounds of a group of dolphins? Listen to their podcast.
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
My wife: Did you know a single dolphin can have more than 200 offspring? Me: Wow How about the married ones?
How does a dolphin do cocaine? With its blow hole.
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are all watching a dolphin do some excellent tricks. The dolphin notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he jumps higher out of the water and calls out, 'Can you all see me now?' And they respond: 'Yes.' 'Oui.' 'Sí.' 'Ja.'