Why did the strangers walk out onto the frozen pond?
Why did the river refuse to join the sea? Because the sea was salty.
If you drop your white shirt in the Red Sea, what will it become?
Wet
The lake did not like the river because it felt that the river was not very lake-able.
I had the best ice pun to tell you…
Problem is, it slipped my mind.
A mycologist is the most ethical type of scientist. They follow morels closely.
I'm debating whether I should cross the river on foot or use my rowboat...
It's row v. wade.
Q: How do you stop newspapers from flying away on windy days?
A: Use a news anchor!
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
The reason lakes are bigger than rivers is because one has running water whereas the other water is merely standing.
What did one cloud of fog say to the other?
I don’t know. It’s a mistery.
What's the difference between a BMW and a Cactus?
Pricks are on the outside of Cactuses.
What do you call a boy swimming at the beach?
Buoyancy.
What did the flower say after it told a joke?
I was pollen your leg
There's snow place like the mountains in winter.
What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills ?
Bernadette.
I was gonna make a river joke, but I don't think it's current.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
Why did the obtuse Triangle go to the beach?
Because it was more than 90°.
Did you know humans can be struck by lightning?
I was shocked when I found out.
What do books wear on a wet and rainy day? Rain quotes.
When the AC circuits in your home are hit by a DC lightning bolt..
It's a current affair.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
How was the misbehaving lightning bolt punished?
He was grounded.
Whenever I hear folksy stories about the hills, I can never get over them.
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
The shrubs were gearing up for a fight with the grass, but they never saw the blades come in.
What is the most favourite drink of a cow? Mountain Moo.
The wind had such a great time. You could say it had a blast.
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
My fire tonight...
Was lit!
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
A mountain biker was chased by a Grizzly this morning. He bearly made it.
I was thinking of making an investment on a new farming venture that feeds marijuana to cows instead of grass.
The steaks will be too high for sure.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
Q: Why does a hurricane wear a monocle?
A: It has only had one eye!
What’s a bigamist?
It’s what Italians call a thick fog.
What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.
There is a higher chance of being struck by lightning than to be killed in a shark attack.
Shocking isn't it.
What did the mushroom say after the car accident? Help I’m a truffle!
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section
I'm like a cow in tall grass,
I'm utterly tickled to be here.
After all is red and done, all the colors in the rainbow are equally beautiful.
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
After being stuck in the ice storm all day long, the man said, "I am starving. Can I avalanche?"
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.