What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?
A hamster
Why did the pig get fired? Insu-boar-dination.
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
If you want to name a smart pig, name him Cunningham.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
Why do pigs make awful football players?
They don’t like playing with the “pig skin.”
When pigs work together, it’s known as collab-boar-ation.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
Why couldn’t the pig tie his shoelaces? He was too ham-fisted.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
Why do piglets take home economics in school? To learn how to sow.
What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
Pork rinds.
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
Why was the piglet whining.
He was boared out of his brains.
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.