Welcome to Bible Puns, God bless.

Bible Puns

Moses had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.
What’s a missionary’s favorite type of car?
A convertible.
At what time of day did God create Adam?
Just before Eve.
What sort of lights were on Noah’s Ark?
Flood lights.
Which Bible character had no parents?
Joshua, son of Nun (Joshua 1:1).
Which Bible Character is a locksmith?
Zaccheus.
On the Ark, Noah probably got milk from the cows. What did he get from the ducks?
Quackers
What animal could Noah not trust?
Cheetah
Why did the unemployed man get excited while looking through his Bible?
He thought he saw a job.
Who was the fastest runner in the race?
Adam, because he was first in the human race.
Why didn’t they play cards on the Ark?
Because Noah was standing on the deck.
Who were Gumby’s favorite Bible characters?
Shadrack, Meshack & AhBENDago.
How do we know Peter was a rich fisherman?
By his net income.
What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It’s Christmas, Eve!
What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?
Your mother ate us out of house and home.
Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?
When Joseph served in Pharaoh’s court.
Where was Solomon’s temple located?
On the side of his head.
Why couldn’t Jonah trust the ocean?
Because he knew there was something fishy about it.
Need an ark?
I noah guy.
If Moses were alive today, why would he be considered a remarkable man?
Because he would be several thousand years old.
Why did Moses cross the Red Sea?
To get to the other side.
Why did Samson try to avoid arguing with Delilah?
He didn’t want to split hairs.
Why wouldn’t the Pharaoh let the Hebrews go?
He was in ‘de Nile.
Why did Noah have to punish the chickens on the Ark?
They were using fowl language.
At what time of day was Adam created?
A little before Eve.
18) How long did Cain hate his brother?
As long as he was Abel.
Which Old Testament prophet took forever to make a point?
“I say… uhhh…” (say it out loud)
What’s the best way to settle church disputes?
With canons.
What’s a missionary’s favorite kind of car?
A convertible.
Why did some cardinals get their feathers ruffled?
The Pope gave away the church’s nest egg to the poor.