What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee-fish!
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
What kind of whale can fly?
A Pilot whale.
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles!
What do you call two octopuses that look alike?
I-tentacle twins!
Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains.
This gives me hope for the next generation.
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can't walk.
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of the school.
How does a group of sea turtles make a decision?
They flipper a coin.
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish.
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
‘I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!’
Why are goldfish orange?
The water makes them rusty.
What is the most expensive kind of fish?
The goldfish.
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
I watched a good film about fishing last night.
It had a great cast.
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
What do you call a FISH with no Eyes? A FSH.
Why couldn’t the clownfish buy a house?
The fish could not buy a house because he didn’t have an-e-mon-e!
What do you call a jellyfish on a plane?
A flightoplankton.
What kind of fish do you find in a bird cage?
A perch!
Who does a fish call when his piano breaks?
The piano tuna!
Would you rather kiss a shark or a jellyfish?
A jellyfish. That’s a no-brainer.
How do shellfish get to the hospital?
In a clambulance!
Which sea creatures cry the most?
Whales!
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,
Why are fish so smart?
They are always in schools!
Why was the whale so sad?
The fish was said because he was a Blue whale!
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
What are the fastest fish in the river? The motor-pike with a side-carp!
Where do fish sleep?
On a seabed, and sometimes they vacation at the river bed.
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather.
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.
What do you call a fish with a tie?
Sofishticated!
How do clams call their friends?
Clams call their friends on their shell phones!
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
What did one fish say to the other?
If you keep your mouth closed you will not get caught.
Why did the sailor throw a penny into the whale’s mouth?
The sailor thought he was was a wishing whale!
Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon.
How do you make a goldfish old?
Take away the “G”!
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
How does an octopus go to war?
Well armed.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!
Why do you bring fish to a party?
You bring fish to a party because they go well with chips!
What do you call a fish that floats on the surface?
Bob.
Which day do fish hate the most?
Fry-day.
What do you call a lazy crayfish?
A slobster.