How do you keep a goat from charging?
You take his credit card away!
Who called it a goat petting zoo...
and not Close Encounters of the Herd Kind?
Why are goats and rhinos attracted to each other?
Because they are both horny animals.
I just got an adorable baby goat, but it can’t bend its legs.
The vet said it’s a cute kid knee disorder.
Is a mountain goat a hillbilly?
What’s a goat’s favorite TV show?
America’s Goat Talent.
Did you hear the joke about the lumberjack, The sheep and the goat?
I wood tell ewe, but it’s a baaaaaad joke
Did you hear about the mother goat telling jokes?
She’s a real kidder.
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a goat.
How long has this been going on?
Since I was a kid.
Goat milk?
For goat’s sake, that’s enough.
What do you call a goat on a mountain?
Hillbilly.
What did the goat say when he woke up on a train?
I have no idea how I goat here.
Is a goat that eats office supplies on a staple diet?
If a goat grows a beard, is it a goatee?
What do you call a goat who is in charge of a university?
Billy Dean.
Why was the farmer angry?
Because someone got his goat.
What do you call a Spanish Goat with no hind legs?
Gracias
A goat came out of nowhere and headbutted me
It was a ram-done act of violence
What do you call a Spanish goat with no hind legs?
Gracias.
What’s the definition of butter?
An angry goat.
What do you call an outlaw goat?
Billy the Kid.
What does a goat call his girlfriend?
Bae.
What do you call a goat who paints pictures?
Vincent Van Goat.
Did you hear about the owl who married a goat?
The had a hootenanny.
I told my parents I wanted to raise goats for a living, but I was only kidding.
Do hairless goats wish they had mohair?
What did the goat farmer’s wife say to her husband when he was swearing on the job?
“Not in front of the kids!”
Why are goats from France musical?
Because they have French horns.
What do you call a lazy goat?
Billy Idle.
Two goats are married, living on a farm. Billy Goat says, "I really want children. Let's make some babies."
Betty Goat responds, "Heck no. No baby goats for me..."
"I'm not kidding."
When milking a nervous goat, you should use kid gloves.
What do you call a goat that lip-syncs?
Billy Vanilli.
Something’s goat to give.
What’s a goat’s favorite drink?
Goat-arade.
What do you call a goat swimming in the sea?
Billy Ocean.
What do goats eat?
Goatmeal.
What symbolizes a goat’s family tree?
A goat of arms.
What’s a goat’s favorite musical?
Joseph and his Amazing Technicolor Dream Goat.
What do mountain climbers share around the campfire?
Goat Stories!
You have goat to be kidding me.
Who did the goats vote for as president?
Billy Clinton.
What did the little goats say when they were caught playing a prank on the sheep?
Sorry, we were just kidding.
Young goats should be careful when they're out and and about and shouldn't jump into a stranger's car.
That's how you get kidnapped.
Why is it hard to carry on a conversation with a goat?
Because they are always butting in.
What kind of music do goats listen to?
Baaa-ch!
I goat this.
If a young goat learns a martial art, are they a karate kid?
Whatever floats your goat.
What's a goat's favorite organ?
A Kid-ney