Did you get to meet the tallest vampire in the world? People call him Count Everest.
Did you know that the soldiers at Arlington salute their new Jack-o-Lanterns every Halloween?
They always honor the changing of the Gourd.
What do mummies like listening to on Halloween? Wrap music!
Why do they put fences around graveyards? Because people are dying to get in!
Did you hear about the train that dressed up for Halloween?
It became a fright train.
Why did the ghost go to the bar? To get some boos.
My aunt showed up to our Halloween party wearing ranch bottle costume. She was an hour late.
Her response: Sorry, I was getting dressed.
I let my kids pick my Halloween costume this year. They chose a hot dog...
... this is going to be my wurst Halloween ever.
Did you guys hear about the airplane that dressed up for Halloween?
It was in disguise.
why are the discarded papers that once held the halloween candy just like vocalists who have lost their rhythm, art, and poetry?
they are both empty rappers
This Halloween, the only Candy I’m interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues
What do you call a Halloween boner? Petrified wood
My friend wanted me to take care of his extremely fragile pumpkin. I told him I'd gourd it with my life!
What do birds give out on Halloween?
Tweets.
What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A “hollow dog."
Why was the Jack-o-Lantern sad on Halloween?
Because he felt empty inside.
What do you call Jack-O-Lantern cousins who lift weights together?
Pump Kins
I bought a pumpkin for Halloween but it was broken
So i had to get a pumpkin patch.
What is Halloween's favorite medicine?
Any brand of coffin cold.
I’ll be your trick if you’ll be my treat.
Ghosts make the best cheerleaders. They have lots of spirit!
Orange you excited for Halloween?
I dressed up as a jousting lance for Halloween, but nobody got it.
I thought it was pretty straight forward.
Jehovahs witnesses don’t celebrate halloween
I guess they don’t appreciate random people coming to their door
Enjoy goblin up all your Halloween candy — just don't let it go to waist!
My dad has been making Halloween related puns all morning
He's now asking that I call him the Halloween Pun King.
What did Dracula say when the witch and the warlock started kissing?" "Get a broom!
What does a placebo say on Halloween?
“Trick or Treatment!”
I hope it doesn’t rain Halloween night.
That would dampen spirits.
Don’t be a jerk-o-lantern this Halloween — share your candy!
I hope these Halloween puns don't drive you batty.
I was a bit worried about making breakfast on Halloween
But I ain't afraid of no toast.
The best part of astrology is reading your daily horror-scope.
I dressed up as bacon for halloween.
To say the least, i was looking pretty CRISP.
I told everyone that I’m going as a zombie character from Harry Potter this Halloween, but no one believes me.
I’m dead Sirius.
Went to church on Halloween
Turned out to be a blessing in disguise
Halloween candy is yummy and all, but don't forget to save room for 'I scream.'
How do you fix a damaged jack-o-lantern?
You use a pumpkin patch.
My new Halloween cookies are bringing everyone back for more!
I call them boo merginues.
Thank goodness for Halloween, all of a sudden, cobwebs in my house are decorations!
This Halloween I was planning to go as a band aid, but decided against it.
It’s really hard to pull off.
On Halloween, I will be wearing a normal everyday T-Shirt
I'll be going as a Casualty
Why do skeleton's make such good comedians? They have so many funny bones.
We’ve all heard of the mushroom who gets invited to the party cause he’s a fungi, but what about the mushroom who stole all the halloween candy?
He had no morrels.
The record store owner needed to get the albums by a Canadian band with Neil Pert on drums out on sale before Halloween...
So he put in a Rush order!
Why didn't the mummy finish his Halloween candy?
Because he was stuffed!
I don't trust pumpkins. They're seedy.
Son: Dad, did you know they used to carve turnips on Halloween?
Dad: They must have been out of their gourds.
What do you get when you divide your jack-o’-lantern’s circumference by its diameter? Pumpkin-Pie!
Why couldn’t the witch have children? Her husband had a hallow weenie.