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Cow Puns

A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because all of the cows have horns
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
What did the cow who barged the other cow say?
Moo-ve!
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.