Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
What did the cow who barged the other cow say?
Moo-ve!
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because all of the cows have horns
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A cow walking backwards.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
Angry cows are usually responsible for giving the farmer sour milk.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator.
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
Where do cows get together?
The meet market.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.