I had a bet on a giraffe race yesterday but my selection lost.
It was nowhere near winning – it lost by a neck.
What do you get if cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo?
A turtle-neck jumper.
What do you get when you cross a giraffe and a pig?
Bacon and legs.
Why do giraffes have long necks?
Because their feet smell.
Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
Because it takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
What do you get when two giraffes run into each other?
A giraffic jam.
An introvert elephant and an emo giraffe walked into a bar.
They couldn’t fit in.
Have you heard the joke about the giraffe’s neck?
Let me warn you, it’s a long one.
Why did the giraffe graduate early?
He was head and shoulders above the rest of the class.
Why wasn’t the giraffe invited to the party?
He was a pain in the neck.
Why is a giraffe’s neck so long?
Because its head is so far from its body.
Today I learned that a giraffe’s neck is so strong a human can climb up it.
Also, I got banned from my local zoo.
Why don’t giraffes do drugs?
Because they’re naturally high.
Why don’t giraffes make good pets?
They’re too high maintenance.
What do you call a zoo that has only giraffes in it?
Giraffic Park.
How was the first giraffe made?
Chuck Norris uppercut a horse.
What do you call it when a giraffe swallows a toy jet?
A plane in the neck.
What do you call a giraffe winning a horse race?
A long shot.
What’s worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?
A centipede with athlete’s foot.
What kind of magic does a love-struck giraffe practice?
Neck-romance-y.
What do you call a royal giraffe?
Your highness.
Why don’t most restaurants serve giraffe?
Because it’s a tall order.
What happened when the two giraffes had a race?
It was neck and neck.
What is a giraffe’s favorite fruit?
Necktarines.
What did Dracula say when he saw a giraffe for the first time?
I’d like to get to gnaw you.
What’s green and hangs from trees?
Giraffe snot.
The worst part about being a giraffe…
Is having a lot of time to think about your mistakes when you’re sinking into quicksand.
What do you get if you cross a giraffe and a hedgehog?
An extra long toilet brush.
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