Bad puns are how eye roll.
What has ears but cannot hear?
A field of corn.
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
To all the people that don't cover their mouths then they cough.
You make me sick.
Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot!
I can't hear out of my ear...
It's really EAR-itating.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
What do you call a person with a peg nose acting suspicious?
Suspeg.
Why did the kid put the dinky car in his ear?
Because he wanted to give it a wax job.
My doctor says I should get my ears cleaned every 12 months.
I think he means ear-ly.
Why do seals carry fish in their mouth?
Because they don't have pockets.
If a T-Rex slipped and broke its nose would it would need a dinoplasty?
What did the ear of corn say when all of its clothes fell off?
Awe shucks!
What do you call an eye that can fly?
A real eye soar.
A person with a very blocked nose walks into a doctors office.
The doctor says: "So, you're having mucus problems?"
The person replies: "perhaps, perhaps snot.
Where are noses made?
At the olfactory.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
There's a serious ear condition that dogs can get, it makes their ears ring all the time.
It's called Rin-Tin-Tinnitus.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
After making love the other night, I told my spouse that I love when the whisper sweet things in my ear...
So my spouse leaned in close and whispered..."Syrup."
Some people think it's okay to wear your mask over your mouth while not covering your nose.
They're mouthbreathers.
Did you hear about the football player with the dirty mouth?
Yeah. He was an offensive lineman.
What do you call Bears without ears
B.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
My son elbowed me in the mouth during a tickle fight
But that's ok. It was acci-dental.
There's a South American country where they have a rare pepper. Instead of being hot when you eat it, it makes your mouth feel cold.
It's called the Chilly Chile Chili.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
This eye pun couldn't be any cornea.
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
What did Van Gogh name the ear he didn't cut off?
Van Stay.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
Called in sick to work one day complaining about my eyes.
When they asked what's wrong I said:
“I just can’t see myself coming in to work today.”
What did the skeleton say to the French soldier? Bone Jaw
“My Dog has no nose. How does he smell?”
"Awful.”
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
A nose visited its home town.
It was overcome with nostril-gia.
Did you know Davy Crockett had three ears?
A left ear, a right ear, and a wild frontier.
How much does it cost a pirate to get his ear pierced?
It's a buccaneer
Son: Hey Dad, why do you have your ear right up to that computer?
Dad: I’m listening to A Dell
I tried to warn my son about the dangers of Russian roulette...
It went in one ear and out the other.
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
What do you call a flower with a mouth?
Tulip.
How do you beat a robot in a fist fight
Socket in the jaw.