If you can think of a better fish pun, let minnow.
What kind of fish will help you hear?
A herring aid!
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
Why is it easy to spot a Cinderella-fish? They have glass flippers!
Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
Whale, whale, whale…
If it isn’t a pod.
What do you call a FISH with no Eyes? A FSH.
I watched a good film about fishing last night.
It had a great cast.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
‘I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!’
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish.
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in a school.
What fish like to fly?
Flying Fish
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
Which murderer kills at the bottom of the ocean?
Jack the Kipper.
What’s the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
Would you rather kiss a shark or a jellyfish?
A jellyfish. That’s a no-brainer.
I got an email today saying I could win $10,000 in a fishing competition.
But I'm sure there's a catch involved somewhere.
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?
They can't be deboned.
I went fly-fishing yesterday.
All I caught was two bluebottles.
What is the funniest fish in the sea?
A clownfish.
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of the school.
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
Are Jellyfish sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish?
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
Why are fish so smart?
They are always in schools!
Why do you bring fish to a party?
You bring fish to a party because they go well with chips!
How does an octopus go to war?
Well armed.
Where do fish save their money?
In the river bank.
What do you call a lazy crayfish?
A slobster.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With tentacles!
Why did the sailor throw a penny into the whale’s mouth?
The sailor thought he was was a wishing whale!
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
Which fish is the most famous? The starfish.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?
Swimming trunks!
How do you make a goldfish old?
Take away the “G”!
Why do fish like worms?
Fish like worms because they’re hooked on them.
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains.
This gives me hope for the next generation.
Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Oysters don’t share their pearls because they’re shellfish!
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
Who does a fish call when his piano breaks?
The piano tuna!