Where do fish save their money?
In the river bank.
Why was the whale so sad?
The fish was said because he was a Blue whale!
Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Fish take Vitamin Sea to stay healthy!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fishually impaired.
Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel.
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
How do fish get high?
Seaweed.
Why do fish like worms?
Fish like worms because they’re hooked on them.
I got an email today saying I could win $10,000 in a fishing competition.
But I'm sure there's a catch involved somewhere.
What kind of whale can fly?
A Pilot whale.
What is a dolphin’s favorite TV show? Whale of fortune.
What do you call a FISH with no Eyes? A FSH.
What kind of fish do you find in a bird cage?
A perch!
What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?
They can't be deboned.
What did the fish say when it swam into a brick wall?
Dam!
What would you call a jellyfish combat veteran?
A man o' war.
How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With tentacles!
Which murderer kills at the bottom of the ocean?
Jack the Kipper.
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
What did one fish say to the other?
If you keep your mouth closed you will not get caught.
Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.
How do fish play the drums?
With Fish Sticks.
Where do fish sleep?
On a seabed, and sometimes they vacation at the river bed.
What do you call a fish with a tie?
Sofishticated!
Are Jellyfish sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish?
What do fish use for money?
Sand dollars!
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
I went fly-fishing yesterday.
All I caught was two bluebottles.
Which day do fish hate the most?
Fry-day.
How do fish go into business?
The start on a small scale.
Why couldn’t the clownfish buy a house?
The fish could not buy a house because he didn’t have an-e-mon-e!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
How do you make a goldfish old?
Take away the “G”!
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
What fish are at the zoo?
Lion fish!
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
Why are goldfish orange?
The water makes them rusty.
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
How do you confuse a fish?
Put the fish in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner.
What did the fish say when he posted bail?
I’m off the hook!
My wife got stung by a jellyfish and said, “Quick, pee on it!” So I peed on it and said…
“That’s for stinging my wife!”
What do you call a jellyfish on a plane?
A flightoplankton.
Would you rather kiss a shark or a jellyfish?
A jellyfish. That’s a no-brainer.
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
A monkfish.
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.