What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
If you want to name a smart pig, name him Cunningham.
How is a pig’s tail like 4 o’clock in the morning? It’s twirly.
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
What’s a pig’s favorite color? Ma-hog-any.
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
What did one pig say to the other?
Let’s be pen pals.
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
Why did the pig go to the casino?
To play the slop machine!
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
Why do pigs make awful football players?
They don’t like playing with the “pig skin.”
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
What advice did the grandpa pig have for his kids?
“Don’t take anything for grunted.”
What do you call it when a pig loses its memory? Hamnesia.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
Why couldn’t the pig tie his shoelaces? He was too ham-fisted.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
What do you call an imaginary pig? A pig-ment of your imagination.
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.