How did the horse solve a murder?
Compiled newspaper clippings.
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him?
He herd.
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
What natural disaster took out the ancient horses?
A volcanic stirruption.
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? Jockey.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
Where do horses get their weaves from?
Mane.
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
How do horses greet each other?
“Hayyyyy.”
What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
Why did the pony turn himself in?
He felt rem-horse.
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
What does a horse call its treats?
My greatest preakness.
Where do the cool horses live?
In rad-docks.
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
What’s the spiciest way to clean a horse?
With a curry comb.
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
Why does a horse’s hair always look so good?
She mane-tains it.
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
Why was Pegasus such a good ballerina?
He was flo-wing.
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
Why does the horse go to school?
It brings her fulfillyment.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
Why was the horse a great editor?
She was very thorough bred.
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.