What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft
A Duct-ape.
Why was there a troop of gorillas protesting outside the biscuit factory?
They wanted to stop the production of animal crackers.
What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
Q. Why did the gorilla go to the barber?
A. He was concerned about his ape-pearance.
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
Q. Where did the gorilla like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea
Q. What is a gorilla in a wheelchair called?
A. Dis-ape-led.
Q. Why was the blonde disappointed after her visit to an apiary?
A. There weren't any gorillas there. DUH!
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
What did the gorilla say after spending one month at te gym?
Geez, gain a little muscle mass, and everybody acuses you of steroids. As if eating too many bananas wasn't dopey enough!
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
What do you call a gorilla wearing headphones?
Anything you'd like, it can't hear you.
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.
Did you hear about the gorilla that was from Vietnam?
He was a viet kong.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
Why did the Buddhist gorilla get locked out of his monastery?
He forgot his monk-key
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
What is a gorillas second favourite fruit to eat behind bananas?=
Ape-ricots
Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
What do you call a gorilla who has been locked up in prison?
A kong-vict
Q. Which book makes virgin gorillas blush?
A. The Naked Ape.
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
Q. What do you call an entertaining gorilla eating a banana?
A. Ape peeling.
What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
Q. What do they call the gorilla marathon runner who only wins when it's pouring outdoors?
A. The raining chimp-ion.
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
Have you heard about the gorilla who got a name change?
Peaches the gorilla escaped from the zoo, but when they got him back they had to change it because it turns out he had become an Ape Re-caught.
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!