Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft
A Duct-ape.
Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
What do you call a gorilla who has been locked up in prison?
A kong-vict
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
Q. Why was the gorilla's jungle party so lame?
A. Because theyran out of chimps and dip.
What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
Q. Why did the gorilla go to the barber?
A. He was concerned about his ape-pearance.
My girlfriend and I saw an inflatable gorilla In front of a jacuzzi store
She asked me why they would do that for a jacuzzi store. I told her it was a guerilla tactic. She was not impressed.
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
Q. What kind of underwear do s*xy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
What do you call a gorilla wearing headphones?
Anything you'd like, it can't hear you.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
Q. What do they call the gorilla marathon runner who only wins when it's pouring outdoors?
A. The raining chimp-ion.
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
What do you call a polyarmourus deceased gorilla?
Harembe.
What is a gorillas second favourite fruit to eat behind bananas?=
Ape-ricots
Q. Where did the gorilla like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea
What did the gorilla say after spending one month at te gym?
Geez, gain a little muscle mass, and everybody acuses you of steroids. As if eating too many bananas wasn't dopey enough!
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.
What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
What is a gorillas favourite ice cream flavour.
Chocolate chimp.
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron