How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With tentacles!
What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?
They can't be deboned.
Do you know where you take a sick squid?
To the doctopus.
Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon.
What kind of fish do you find in a bird cage?
A perch!
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!
Why couldn’t the clownfish buy a house?
The fish could not buy a house because he didn’t have an-e-mon-e!
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
How do fish play the drums?
With Fish Sticks.
How to fish like to eat cereal?
In a fish bowl!
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can't walk.
What kind of whale can fly?
A Pilot whale.
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
I watched a good film about fishing last night.
It had a great cast.
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
What did the fish say when he posted bail?
I’m off the hook!
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well armed.
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,
How do you confuse a fish?
Put the fish in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner.
I went fly-fishing yesterday.
All I caught was two bluebottles.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Which sea creatures cry the most?
Whales!
Why did the girl pour glue into her fishbowl?
She wanted to make a fish stick!
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
How do you make a goldfish old?
Take away the “G”!
What is the funniest fish in the sea?
A clownfish.
What did one fish say to the other?
If you keep your mouth closed you will not get caught.
Why do fish like worms?
Fish like worms because they’re hooked on them.
What’s the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
I got an email today saying I could win $10,000 in a fishing competition.
But I'm sure there's a catch involved somewhere.
How do fish get high?
Seaweed.
Whale, whale, whale…
If it isn’t a pod.
What do you call a fish with a tie?
Sofishticated!
What do you call two octopuses that look alike?
I-tentacle twins!
If you can think of a better fish pun, let minnow.
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Fish take Vitamin Sea to stay healthy!
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
Which fish is the most famous? The starfish.
Who granted the fish’s wish?
The fairy cod mother!
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
Are Jellyfish sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish?
Would you rather kiss a shark or a jellyfish?
A jellyfish. That’s a no-brainer.
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
How do clams call their friends?
Clams call their friends on their shell phones!
Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains.
This gives me hope for the next generation.
What would you call a jellyfish combat veteran?
A man o' war.