How does a group of sea turtles make a decision?
They flipper a coin.
Who does a fish call when his piano breaks?
The piano tuna!
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,
Do you know where you take a sick squid?
To the doctopus.
Where do fish sleep?
On a seabed, and sometimes they vacation at the river bed.
How do you catch an electric eel?
You can catch an electric eel with a lightning rod!
How do you make a fish laugh?
Tell it a whale of a tale.
How do you confuse a fish?
Put the fish in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner.
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
What do you call a FISH with no Eyes? A FSH.
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
Whale, whale, whale…
If it isn’t a pod.
Which murderer kills at the bottom of the ocean?
Jack the Kipper.
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can't walk.
What kind of whale can fly?
A Pilot whale.
What fish are at the zoo?
Lion fish!
What did the fish say when it swam into a brick wall?
Dam!
If you can think of a better fish pun, let minnow.
What are the fastest fish in the river? The motor-pike with a side-carp!
Why was the whale so sad?
The fish was said because he was a Blue whale!
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.
What fish like to fly?
Flying Fish
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
Are Jellyfish sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish?
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Oysters don’t share their pearls because they’re shellfish!
Why did the girl pour glue into her fishbowl?
She wanted to make a fish stick!
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
‘I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!’
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish.
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
Why do fish like worms?
Fish like worms because they’re hooked on them.
Why are goldfish orange?
The water makes them rusty.
What did one fish say to the other?
If you keep your mouth closed you will not get caught.
What is a pirate’s favorite’s fish?
A pirates favorite fish is a swordfish!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
How do fish go into business?
The start on a small scale.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon.
What kind of fish do you find in a bird cage?
A perch!
I went fly-fishing yesterday.
All I caught was two bluebottles.
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
Why did the sailor throw a penny into the whale’s mouth?
The sailor thought he was was a wishing whale!
Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
What is the funniest fish in the sea?
A clownfish.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!