Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
Where does a cat keep its coins? In its purr-se.
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
My two cats had a fight today.
They soon hissed and made up though.
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
What do cats build to prepare for war? Cat-apults.
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!