Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
Where does a cat keep its coins? In its purr-se.
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!