My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
What do cats build to prepare for war? Cat-apults.
My two cats had a fight today.
They soon hissed and made up though.
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!