What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
Don’t wait on me to start the meeting. I might be a hare late.
What did the dolphin do to the woman who was rude to it?
Flipper off!
A worm child comes home. It sees mom and asks: "Mom, have you seen dad?"
Mom says: "Dad went fishing with the guys."
What do you call a spider with ten eyes?
A spiiiiiiiiiider.
How do you catch a unique bunny? Unique up on it.
Where do you take a sick hornet?
To the waspital.
I went to the zoo the other day and saw an alligator that will only eat finely chopped food.
It was an alligrator.
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat? A dirty kid.
What do you call an ant who won’t go away?
Perman-ant.
What do you call a otter that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
Why did the Koala cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
What happens when an alligator drives a boat?
He becomes a navigator.
The tiger asked his longtime friend, "Will you be my tigerlfriend."
What did the Golden Retriever say to the beautiful poodle?
You’re looking very fetching.
What’s a mouse favourite family sitcom?
Full Mouse.
What goes black, white, black, white, black, white?
A panda rolling down a hill.
Where do monkeys go when they lose their tails?
To a retailer.
What did the deer say after he finished eating?
“That was deer-licious!”
What do you get if you cross a lobster with a telephone?
A snappy talk.
People always talk about the 'Eye Of The Tiger'. No one talks about the other four letters.
Did you know that the blue whale is so big, that if you laid it end to end on a basketball court …
The game would be cancelled.
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
What’s long, green and goes hith?
A snake with a lisp.
There are good and bad times to buy a flamingo. Bad times are when they’re expensive, the best times are when they’re cheep.
Picking your favorite snack can be like picking the slowest turtle in the pack.
How do you make a telephone in the jungle?
With toucans and a piece of string.
What happened when they planted new bamboo trees at the zoo?
It was pandamonium out there!
Deja moo:
That feeling you've heard this bull before.
What do you say when you meet a two-headed dinosaur? Hello, hello!
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.
What do you get if you cross a pigeon and a parrot? Voicemail!
It’s raining cats and dogs today - I just hope it doesn’t rain deer!
If you see a deer without antlers acting crazy, don’t eat it without cooking it first.
Everyone knows you can’t eat raw kooky doe.
Some see a puddle of mosquito larva.
I see a pool of enbitenment.
What happened to the baby chicken that misbehaved at school?
It was egg-spelled.
Why don’t anteaters get sick?
Because they’re full of antibodies.
Thought I saw a zebra in a field near my house recently, turned out to be a horse in his pyjamas.
What did the nervous crow do? The crow proceeded with caw-tion.
Where is the best place to get camel milk?
Straight from the Dromedairy.
I'm going to start a business selling worms and Nintendo consoles
I'll call it "Bait and Switch."
What is the most effective way to cook a crocodile?
In a croc pot.
It's nearly 6 years since US Navy SEALs took out Osama Bin Laden in Pakistan.
Talk Abbottabad place to hide.
What is a parrot’s favorite game?
Beakaboo
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
What do fish use for money?
Sand dollars!
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.