Q: Which U.S. state do tigers like the most?
A: Maine.
Q. Will a sensible stag do something dangerous to impress a doe?
A. No, not even on a deer.
What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus? Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving.
What Do You Call A Cat That Swallows A Duck?
A duck-filled-fatty-pus
The builder beaver decided to launch a new liquid dam-building product, but the market was too saturated.
What do you call a bee you can't understand? A mumble bee.
Q. How do does and fawns fly from place to place?
A. In a deer-igible
What do you get when you cross a frog with a rabbit?
A bunny ribbit.
What does a English turkey say to another English turkey on Thanksgiving morning? "Excuse Me... ahem... To be or not to be roasted, that is the question!"
You have goat to be kidding me.
What goes black, white, black, white, black, white?
A panda rolling down a hill.
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s dog?
Yeah, he rings a bell
Why shouldn’t you drive with a vampire?
He will drive you batty.
What did the alligator say to the other alligator that was in the way?
“Please move, I need to get bayou.”
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
Picking your favorite snack can be like picking the slowest turtle in the pack.
I asked a panda if he was my friend.
He said, “Just bearly”.
What do crows take for their gut issues? crow-biotics.
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
Why are crows so interesting?
Just beCAWse
Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?
Because he was always spotted.
Where does a Tyrannosaurus sit when he comes to stay? Anywhere he wants to.
What is a dog’s favorite coordinates?
K9.
Q. What do biologists call an insane stag that's out running amok?
A. Deer-ranged.
Just finished my first shift as a lion impersonator.
It was a roaring success.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
A saber tooth tiger would never blow anything up.
But a dino might.
The lobster is one shell of an animal.
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the kids have to play indoors.
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
What do frogs do with paper?
Rip-it.
What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?
Bronchitis.
What do you get when you cross a giraffe and a pig?
Bacon and legs.
Why don’t anteaters get sick?
Because they’re full of antibodies.
If you have a line of 100 rabbits in a row and 99 of them take 1 step backwards, what do you have? A receding hare line.
What did the dog groomer say to her dentist?
I clean my canines every day.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
What did the snail say to the other who had hit him and run off? I'll get you next slime!
What is the biggest ant in the world?
An elephant.
What do you call a thirsty camel ?
A dry humper.
What do you call an alligator who is holding a compass?
A navigator.
What do you call a gorilla with a million dollars?
A gorillanaire
Crows have 16 feather pinions and ravens have 17 pinions. It's just a matter of a pinion.
I saw a guy trying to cross a really busy street. Trying to be helpful, I said, “You know, there is a zebra crossing 50ft ahead.”
He said, “I hope he’s having a better luck than I am.”