Why do owls shower so often?
So they don’t smell fowl.
It was reported that a tiger recently exploded in the forest fire. They say it was a Royal Bang-al Tiger.
What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
Which fish is the most famous? The starfish.
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
What do you call a hamster in between two slices of bread?
A ham sandwich.
The public investigated a box full of crows because it was a murder case.
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles!
What did the large baby deer say when he met his favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn!”
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gater.
How do lions greet people?
"Pleased to eat you!"
What do you drive in a river? An otter-mobile.
What did the deer say after he finished eating?
“That was deer-licious!”
Who was the most infamous terrorist in llama history?
Osama Bin Llama.
What's more impressive than a talking fish?
A spelling bee.
Where do flies go for a holiday?
Flywaii.
Each year, lots of wolves go treating in howl-o-ween.
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
What do you call a lobster that's afraid of tight spaces?
Claw-strophobic
Did the dinosaur take a bath ? Why, is there one missing?
On which day do tiger eat people?
Chewsday
What do you get when a dinosaur sneezes? Out of the way!
What vehicle does T-Rex use to go from planet to planet? A Dinosaucer
How do you make a duck sing soul music?
Put him in the microwave until his Bill Withers
One day I saw a squirrel burying lotto tickets under a large bush, so I asked him what he was doing.
He told me he was hedging his bets.
Turtles keep on winning battles because they are perfect at shelling their enemies.
How do you catch a rich squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a cashew.
Dad: Where do desert nomads buy their camels?
Son: I dunno. Where?
Dad: at Camelot.
What do dogs and Santa have in common?
They are both seen Dachshund through the snow.
When does a sloth go "moo"? When it is learning a new language!
What do you call monkeys who share an Amazon account?
Prime mates.
What does a mosquito say to greet his girlfriend?
"M'laria."
What is the proper name for the ghost of a buffalo?
A booffalo.
Why do dogs find it hard to work the TV remote?
Because they always hit the paws button.
What's green and purple and goes up and down? Barney in an elevator.
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
Why are parrots so good at improvisation? Because they know how to wing it!
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes.
Where do horses get their weaves from?
Mane.
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather.
I asked a beaver out on a date. The beaver replied: “Gnaw.” I said: “Dam.”
Who is a crow’s favorite actor? Russell Crow!
What do you give a deer with an upset stomach?
Elka Seltzer.
What is a nerdy alligator’s favorite programming language?
Jaw-va.
Wife: would you get me those two cans from the top shelf?
Me: I don't see any toucans in here.
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
What’s a whale’s favorite movie?
The Humpback Of Notre Dame.