What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
What do you call an imaginary pig? A pig-ment of your imagination.
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
Pork rinds.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?
A hamster
Why was the piglet whining.
He was boared out of his brains.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
What advice did the grandpa pig have for his kids?
“Don’t take anything for grunted.”
Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
When pigs work together, it’s known as collab-boar-ation.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
What does an obstinate piglet always say to his mama?
“Sow what?”
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.