What was Muhammad Ali’s favorite breed of dog?
A boxer.
Why did the firefighters bring a dog along with them?
To help them find the nearest fire hydrant.
How does a Spanish dog say Merry Christmas?
Feliz navi-dog.
I nearly kicked my dog out, but we renegotiated the terms of his leash.
What is a dog’s ideal job?
A barkeologist.
Who was the greatest dog detective?
Sherlock Bones.
What type of dog would be the best at portraying Tina Turner?
An Angela Bassett Hound.
What do dogs increase?
The pup-ulation.
Why did the dog walk in to the saloon?
He was looking for the man who shot his paw
What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school?
Her pet-degree.
What did the dog say to its fleas?
Stop bugging me
What breed of dog always gets cold?
A Bichon Freeze.
What do you call dogs who pay in the snow?
Slush puppies.
My dog’s favorite band is The Beagles.
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
What was the dog’s favorite book?
Winnie the Pooch. He loves to read a lot of story tails before bed.
The hotel said NO DOGS ALLOWED.
I guess it was a little too paw-sh.
When is a black dog not a black dog?
When it’s a Greyhound.
What did the dog groomer say to her dentist?
I clean my canines every day.
My dog takes so long to get ready. He can never chews what to wear.
What do you call someone who always takes pictures of their dog?
A pup-arazzi.
What type of dog can use a phone?
A dial-matian.
What did the dog order at a restaurant?
His owner’s homework.
What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?
A hot-diggity-dog.
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
When is the best time to paint a dog?
When they're asleep.
What do a dog and a cell phone have in common?
They both have collar ID.
My dog loves Star Wars.
His favorite character is Chew-bark-a.
Why did the dog go to the bank?
To make a de-paws-it. But unfortunately, there was a mastiff line.
What type of dog is best at timekeeping?
A watch dog.
What happened to the dog who ate too much garlic?
Its bark was worse than its bite.
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
What did the puppy say to his mum?
I woof you.
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
My dog recently joined a gang. Now he’s all about that pug-life.
How do you stop your dog from barking in your front yard?
Put him in your backyard.
I went to the Veterinarian today.
She really knew how to make my dog heal.
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
What is a dog’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone
My dog wants to be a tradesman.
I think he wants to be a woof-er.
Where should you never take your dogs shopping?
The flea market.
What does a dog wear when it’s cold outside?
A pet-ticoat.
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
What do dogs have that no other animal has?
Puppies.
Why was the skeleton afraid of the dog?
Because dogs love bones.
How do you keep a dog from smelling?
You hold its nose.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
What dog does Dracula own?
A blood-hound.