What’s a dog’s favorite breakfast?
Woofles.
What do you call a dog that’s been left outside in the cold?
A chili dog.
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
I went to the Veterinarian today.
She really knew how to make my dog heal.
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
I painted my dog’s nails So he can look paw-ty.
My dog won’t get off the PlayStation He’s been playing Fi-fur all day.
What do you call someone who always takes pictures of their dog?
A pup-arazzi.
What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
What type of dog would be the best at portraying Tina Turner?
An Angela Bassett Hound.
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.
What type of dog chases anything red?
A bull dog.
Why don’t dogs bark at their feet?
It isn’t polite to talk back to your paw.
How does a Spanish dog say Merry Christmas?
Feliz navi-dog.
What do dogs increase?
The pup-ulation.
Why did the police dog get promoted?
Because he was the scenter of so many drug arrests.
What is a dog’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone
My dog takes so long to get ready. He can never chews what to wear.
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
What did the dog say when he sat down on sand paper?
Rough.
What do dogs say when something cool happens?
Paw-some.
Have you seen the new movie with the Dachshund?
Apparently it’s an Oscar Weiner.
Why do dogs run in circles?
Because it’s hard to run in a square.
He’s not a bad dog.
He’s just a little ruff around the edges.
What did the dog say when he had a bad day?
Today has been ruff.
Why couldn’t the dog fit in his clothes?
He was a little husky
What do you call a dog who can fight?
A Boxer.
What do you call a large dog that meditates?
Aware wolf.
What does a dog wear when it’s cold outside?
A pet-ticoat.
Why do dogs hate computers?
They can’t stick their heads out of those Windows.
My dog’s favorite band is The Beagles.
What do a tree and a bog dog have in common?
They both have a lot of bark.
My neighbor had way too many dogs.
It’s safe to say that he had a Rover-dose.
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s dog?
Yeah, he rings a bell
The hotel said NO DOGS ALLOWED.
I guess it was a little too paw-sh.
My dog went on his first date.
But she was a mal-TEASE.
What happens when you buy a dog from the blacksmith?
When he gets home he’ll make a bolt for the door.
What type of dog can use a phone?
A dial-matian.
What happened when the dog ate a firefly?
He smiled with de-light
What breed of dog always gets cold?
A Bichon Freeze.
Why was the dog chasing his own tail?
Because he was trying to make both ends meet.
Why do dogs find it hard to work the TV remote?
Because they always hit the paws button.
Dog to Waiter: Are there any bones in this?
Waiter to Dog: Yes sir, why’s that?
Dog to Waiter: Because I really dig them!
Why was the picture of the dog sent to jail?
Because it was framed.
Which dog won the race? A weiner dog.
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
What kind of dog loves bubble baths?
A shampoodle.
What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
Now wait just a doggone minute.
What happens when you cross an Australian dog and a Beatle?
Dingo Starr.