Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?