Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
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