Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
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