Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
Go to BabaMail
