Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
Rock was magma before it was cool.
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
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