Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
Rock was magma before it was cool.
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
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