Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
Rock was magma before it was cool.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.