What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
Rock was magma before it was cool.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
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