What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
Rock was magma before it was cool.
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
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