Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.