What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
Rock was magma before it was cool.
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.