Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!