Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
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