What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
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