How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.