What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
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