Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
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