How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
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