My Ex-wife called me to tell me my son was arrested for setting a house on fire. I corrected her saying... Arson.
What did they use to set off the amazon warehouse fire? Amazon kindle.
My boss fired me. "Why?" I asked. He said, "You always question authority." "How?"
What did the beaver say when it saw it's home on fire? Hot Dam!
Iron Man's favourite Xmas gifts this year were socks that fire from his feet. He called them missile toes.
Why did the forest ranger never put their tent between fires because if they did the tents would be in a across fire
What kind of fire moistens? A humidifier.
My son and I went camping yesterday and when he asked me how to start a campfire, I explained, "You can start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, but make sure they’re the same..." "Then you’ll have a match."
I heard there are some fires near Greece We’re gonna need a lot of baking soda.
What did the chicken do when his shop caught on fire? He egg-xited..
What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills ? Bernadette.
Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was InTents.
My boss told me that he was going to fire the person with the worst posture I have a hunch, it might be me.
I dropped my steak into the fire. Well done, me, well done.
My grand father always said "fight Fire with Fire". He was a great man but a terrible Fireman
Why was the Blonde fired from the M&M factory? She kept throwing away the W's.
Why Did the Milkman Get Fired? He was skimming off the top.
A french farmer who owned an olive plantation had a huge fire He was extremely sad, he had lost his all his huile d'olive.
What is fire to a pyromaniac? Just a warm-up.
What did the water in the fire truck say when it came to a sudden stop? I'm baffled.
I got fired from the Calendar Factory yesterday They say it's because I took a day off.
The coffee shop kept samples of burnt coffee as evidence to fire their roaster. It was used as grounds for dismissal.
A butt lit a house on fire. So I guess he committed Arse-on
I went to the shooting range for the first time, but I couldn’t get my gun to fire I had to read the trouble shooting section in the manual
I need to apologize to my fellow Californians for all the recent forest fires. Apparently I'm the only one that could've prevented them
Why didn't the mexican archer fire his bow? Because he didn't habanero.
Mom told son to clean his room. But instead, he set it on fire. It was a hot mess
My boss has just fired me for making too many Asian jokes. Oh well!! That's the end of my Korea.
General: "Fire at will!" Soldier: "Which one's Will?"
Me: "Hello? 911? Emergency! The neighbors house is on fire!" Dispatcher: "Did you discover the fire?"
Me: "No! Prometheus! but what does he have to do with this?"