What did fog do to make the captain angry? He mist the boat.
You can't blame anyone if you fall in your driveway due to snowy weather...
Because that's your own asphalt.
Q: What do you call a weatherman who farts while he pees?
A. Rain with a little wind and thunder.
Q: Why couldn’t the boy keep his documents open when he left a window open in winter?
A: Because it was too Win+D
Due to bad weather, I won't be attending the Meteorology Convention.
I'm gonna take a rain-check.
With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!
He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.
What did the vegan wear to the beach?
A zucchini!
What is the difference between a wet day and a lion with a toothache? A wet day is pouring with rain, the other is roaring with pain.
What should you do if it starts raining cats and dogs?
Please seek shelters.
How could the skeleton tell that rain was coming?
He could feel it in his bones.
What was one raindrop overheard saying to another? Two's company, three's a cloud.
Ensure you save for the rainy day because even your closest friends can give you a cold shoulder.
What do you call a month’s worth of rain?
England.
What's a king's favorite kind of precipitation?
Hail!
We got the news of a coming flood today. The news was leaked.
Everyone said the wind was powerful. So, I went outside and was blown away.
Nowadays, people drought the accuracy of weather men because the climatic patterns are so unpredictable.
I mist say, this is a pretty bad joke, but it haze potential.
I'm trying to break the ice, but you just keep giving me the cold shoulder.
What’s a bigamist?
It’s what Italians call a thick fog.
With the kind of weather, it was almost certain that the bride-to-be would get a hoarse throat as she walked through the rain into her bridal shower.
I got lost in the mist today.
I didn’t have the foggiest idea where I was.
Did you hear about the cow that was lifted into the air by a tornado? It was an udder disaster!
Q: What did the tornado say to the sportscar?
A: I’m taking you for a quick spin!
What do you call a dinosaur that got stuck in the rain?
A driplodocus.
A man once said when is Monday coming? His wife said Mon-soon.
Why didn’t the light rain hit the target?
It just mist.
The winter is the worst time of year for a wedding. The grooms always seem to be getting cold feet.
I don’t know if I got hit by freezing rain but it sure hurt like hail.
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Hurricane
Hurricane who?
Hurry! Cane you jog away from the storm?
I'm trying to think of a weather pun, but my mind's kinda cloudy now.
What's the wind's favourite colour?
Blew
Why do you never see owls being affectionate in the rain? It's too wet to woo.
What is fog's favorite drink? Mountain Dew
Why do people like storm watching so much?
The lightning is quite striking!
What words do windmills live by? One good turn deserves another!
I tried playing baseball in the fog today.
It was a bit hit and mist.
I'm going to discuss global warming on Sunday at a debate. It's a very heated topic.
When can your cup of coffee tell the weather?
When it's muggy.
What happens before it rains candy? It sprinkles.
Why do skeletons hate how wind feels? Because it goes right through them!
What do books wear on a wet and rainy day? Rain quotes.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
Local weather reports state there won't be any rain for 1 year, but I drought it.
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror.
Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain.
One fish said, “Quick, let’s swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!”
There was news of a snowstorm. It arrived white on time.
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
What do you get if you come fourth in the National Weatherman Awards? A precipitation trophy.
Rain doesn’t fall. Raindrops.
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