Grass Puns

Read these grassy puns at your own risk.

"Someone's stolen the grass from my garden," said the man looking forlorn.
What do you call it when a panda eats all of your tall grass?
When the drivers ran out of fuel in the grassland, they refueled their tanks with grass-oline!
The police officer went to the crime scene and he saw that there had been a murder in the dense grasslands. Guess, we could call it a grass-assination.
How does Santa look after the grass on his three gardens? Ho, ho ho.
Why do cows eat grass?
I mean, someone has to moo the lawn.
My grandpa used to cut the grass before he died
but he has been lawn gone.
What did one blade of grass say to another about the lack of rain?
I guess we'll just have to make dew.
Got a cow helping me cut the grass. He's a lawn mooer.
My friends were talking about what different colours grass they preferred.
I told them they were being gracist.
A friend went in to his garden, dug a hole in the grass and filled it with water. I think he meant well.
The worst thing about living next door to a good gardener is that the grass is always greener on the other side.
Poured beer over my garden before planting the lawn. I hoped the grass would come up half cut.
During the flood, most of our garden was underwater. I felt especially bad for the grass - it must have been grass-ping for air.
It's been a while since I heard jokes about people sitting on wet morning grass.
They're over dew.
The Azteca Stadium in Mexico has been so neglectfully maintained that there are foot-long grasses on the pitch. Now we call it the Grass-teca Stadium.
The feds were on a global hunt for a cow who was known to hide behind foliage. They finally located her in Moss-cow.
I heard that burglars used grass to pick a lock and gain entry to a local house, but the evidence may have been planted.
During the pandemic, all the children asked to draw pictures of the different types of grass. The children had to submit their grass-essments online.
I'd cut the grass but it's against the lawn.
The stormy weather affected my ability to remember my alphabets. I remember A, B, C, D, and F but I misty.Someone got hurt from a fistful of grass thrown at them with force. When they pressed charges, the cops charged the culprit with physical grass-ault.
A friend of mine is his team's best footballer on paper. Unfortunately, they play most of their games on grass.
I went to a restaurant and had a salad. Afterward, I got an intense pain in my stomach. I visited the doctor and he told me that I had grass-troentiritis.
I was thinking of making an investment on a new farming venture that feeds marijuana to cows instead of grass.
The steaks will be too high for sure.
Last week, I met someone who specialized in the studies of shrubs and grasses. He called himself Neil De-grass-y Tyson!
Grass absorbs nutrients always by the process of grass-imilation.
I needed to add some grass seeds to my lawn. The only thing I could find to keep the seeds out of my flower bed was some ceramic bunnies my wife had, so I used those as a barrier.
Please don't make fun of my re-seeding hare line.
The shrubs were gearing up for a fight with the grass, but they never saw the blades come in.
Why is a field of grass always older than you?
Because it's pasture age
My family wanted me to cut the grass, but I couldn't get myself mow-tivated.
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