Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.