Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
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