What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
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