What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
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