What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
Go to BabaMail
