What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
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