Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
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