What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
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