A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
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