What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
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