Welcome to Water Puns? Did you sail your way here?

What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s a buoyant.
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get arrested.
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
What did Snoop Dog need to get an umbrella?
Fo’ Drizzle.
Which weighs less; butane, gasoline or water?
Butane, because it's lighter fluid.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
Why does the river have problems remembering things?
Because she is becoming sea nile.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
Why did the ocean leave the party early?
She was getting really tide.
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
Why did the lake date the river?
He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?