RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
Why did the lake date the river?
He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
What is worse than when it is raining buckets?
Hailing taxis.
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
Why did the ocean leave the party early?
She was getting really tide.
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
Wanna know what I said when I got hit by a water gun?
H2Oww
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
What happens before it starts raining candy?
It sprinkles!
Why does the river have problems remembering things?
Because she is becoming sea nile.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
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