I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
Which weighs less; butane, gasoline or water?
Butane, because it's lighter fluid.
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
What did Snoop Dog need to get an umbrella?
Fo’ Drizzle.
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
How do the Skywalkers like their bath water?
Luke-warm.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
Why did the ocean leave the party early?
She was getting really tide.
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get arrested.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
What is worse than when it is raining buckets?
Hailing taxis.
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