Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
Why does the river have problems remembering things?
Because she is becoming sea nile.
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
What did Snoop Dog need to get an umbrella?
Fo’ Drizzle.
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
Why did the ocean leave the party early?
She was getting really tide.
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get arrested.
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
Wanna know what I said when I got hit by a water gun?
H2Oww
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
Where do doubtful Egyptians get their water from?
Denial River.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
Why did the lake date the river?
He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
How do the Skywalkers like their bath water?
Luke-warm.
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