What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, it just waved.
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
What happens before it starts raining candy?
It sprinkles!
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
What did Snoop Dog need to get an umbrella?
Fo’ Drizzle.
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
What is worse than when it is raining buckets?
Hailing taxis.
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
Why does the river have problems remembering things?
Because she is becoming sea nile.
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
Wanna know what I said when I got hit by a water gun?
H2Oww
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