My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s a buoyant.
Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
What happens before it starts raining candy?
It sprinkles!
How do the Skywalkers like their bath water?
Luke-warm.
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.
What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
RIP to Boiled Water.
You will be sorely mist.
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
Wanna know what I said when I got hit by a water gun?
H2Oww
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.
Why did the ocean leave the party early?
She was getting really tide.
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
Which weighs less; butane, gasoline or water?
Butane, because it's lighter fluid.
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
Where do doubtful Egyptians get their water from?
Denial River.