What happens before it starts raining candy?
It sprinkles!
Wanna know what I said when I got hit by a water gun?
H2Oww
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.
Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get arrested.
RIP to Boiled Water.
You will be sorely mist.
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
Which weighs less; butane, gasoline or water?
Butane, because it's lighter fluid.
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
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