Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
Where do doubtful Egyptians get their water from?
Denial River.
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
What happens before it starts raining candy?
It sprinkles!
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.
Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.
What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, it just waved.
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
What did Snoop Dog need to get an umbrella?
Fo’ Drizzle.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
RIP to Boiled Water.
You will be sorely mist.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
Why does the river have problems remembering things?
Because she is becoming sea nile.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
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