What happens before it starts raining candy?
It sprinkles!
What is worse than when it is raining buckets?
Hailing taxis.
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
What did Snoop Dog need to get an umbrella?
Fo’ Drizzle.
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, it just waved.
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
RIP to Boiled Water.
You will be sorely mist.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
Why does the river have problems remembering things?
Because she is becoming sea nile.
If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
How do the Skywalkers like their bath water?
Luke-warm.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
Which weighs less; butane, gasoline or water?
Butane, because it's lighter fluid.
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.
What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get arrested.
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s a buoyant.
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
Why did the ocean leave the party early?
She was getting really tide.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
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