How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
Wanna know what I said when I got hit by a water gun?
H2Oww
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
Why did the ocean leave the party early?
She was getting really tide.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s a buoyant.
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
What happens before it starts raining candy?
It sprinkles!
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
Why did the lake date the river?
He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
How do the Skywalkers like their bath water?
Luke-warm.
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
Why does the river have problems remembering things?
Because she is becoming sea nile.
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
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