Whats a bad flower pick-up line?
Lets put our tulips together?
What do you call a giant mushroom? Hu-fungus.
If the sun shines while it’s snowing, what should you look for?
Snowbows.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
What are the best mushrooms to have with a jacket potato? Button mushrooms!
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
How would you scare a snowman?
Get a hairdryer!
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
Who did Prince Mushroom fall in love with at the royal ball? - Chanterella!
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
What does a door to door flower salesman do?
Petal his wares.
Scientists have genetically modified a Venus Fly Trap to have the skin of a cactus
They say its bark is worse than its bite.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
Why did the flower take her husband back after he cheated?
She rose above it.
What tree is bought the most at the plant store?
The poplar tree
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
What do you say to a pensive flower?
A peony for your thoughts?
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
In the mushroom bus, one mushroom said to the other, "Please scoot over, there is not mush room."
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
What does a flower write on their valentine?
Aloe you vera much.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
At the party, the vegetarian girl won’t eat the mushrooms, reason being, somebody told her that they were oyster mushrooms.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
What did the flower say after he told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg!
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder.
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