I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
What do Snowmen call their offspring?
Chill-dren.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
What do you call a snowman party?
A snowball.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
If you are preparing jacket potatoes, your choice vegetables should be button mushrooms.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
An abdominal snowman.
At the party, the vegetarian girl won’t eat the mushrooms, reason being, somebody told her that they were oyster mushrooms.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?
They have tulips.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
If the sun shines while it’s snowing, what should you look for?
Snowbows.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
What does a flower write on their valentine?
Aloe you vera much.
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A cold.
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce?
Because he thought his wife was a flake.
How does a Snowman get to work?
By icicle.
What type of mushrooms can you put on a jacket? Button mushrooms.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A snowmobile!
The only way the mushroom could think of decorating his house was with toadstools.
What did the snowman eat?
Icebergs with chilli sauce.
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
What is a flower’s favorite Journey song?
Don’t stop be-leafing.
Why did the mushroom need time off work? Because he was fried.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
You can virtually stay in any room. The only one you can’t is the mush-room because it is reserved for fungi.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
How do you get into the mush-room? Ring the porta-bella.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
What did the bride say to her new husband at their wedding? - I love you so mush-groom!
Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
Next time you’re feeling down, just remember: your plants are rooting for you. Literally!
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
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