Welcome to the ever-growing Plant Puns section!

Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
A cowboy and a Mexican were walking side-by-side by a beach in Mexico. The Cowboy asked to the Mexican if the Gulf of Mexico was an ocean.
"Sea, Señor," replied the Mexican.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
What do snowmen do on Christmas?
Play with the snow angels.
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s a buoyant.
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
What did the retired pirate say when he went to the beach?
Long time no sea.
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
What does a queen want on her cookie?
Royal Icing.
The plant was tired of being boring.
It has decided to turn over a new leaf.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get arrested.
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
What do plants and homies have in common?
I love watching them grow.
My Ex-wife called me to tell me my son was arrested for setting a house on fire. I corrected her saying...
Arson.
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
They told me they were handing out free beef at the beach...
When I arrived I realized it was a bay-con.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
What did they use to set off the amazon warehouse fire?
Amazon kindle.
What did Snoop Dog need to get an umbrella?
Fo’ Drizzle.
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
Are you a cactus?
Because you're a prick
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.