What does the mushroom say to his lover? – “I have so mush-room in my heart for you, baby!”
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
During the contribution’s session, the mushroom family never gave a lot. They were just two spore.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
Farmers were in an all out war to decide which vegetable they would plant
It was resolved with a Peas Treaty.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
There’s two balloons in the desert. One says look out for that cactus!
The other goes What Cactussssss...
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
Are you a cactus?
Because you're a prick
Did you hear about one flower who went on a date with another flower?
It’s a budding romance.
What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job?
Take it or leaf it.
Did you hear about the flower who was struck in a hit and run?
She was leafed for dead.
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
What’s an ig?
A snow house without a loo!
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
If you are preparing jacket potatoes, your choice vegetables should be button mushrooms.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
Whats a bad flower pick-up line?
Lets put our tulips together?
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frost bite.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
If there was to be a beauty contest bringing together all the beautiful mushrooms on the face of the earth, the porta-bella mushroom would carry the day.
Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce?
Because he thought his wife was a flake.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
What did the snowman order at Wendy’s?
A Frosty.
How does a Snowman get to work?
By icicle.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
What do you call a snowman party?
A snowball.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
What type of room do you eat? A mush room.
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
What did the bride say to her new husband at their wedding? - I love you so mush-groom!
We all know that rooms are just empty spaces, and no one can even dream of making a delicacy out of them. The only room is the mushroom.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
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