What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help?
Lilac the ability to stop.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
What did the mushroom’s sing when they won the closed-cup? - We are the champignons!
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
Did you hear about the flower who gave an ultimatum to her husband?
She told him once and floral.
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
What pickup line did the flower use on Tinder?
Are you a DAMNdelion?
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
The forager was in such mixed moods this morning and we guessed he picked and ate the wrong class of mushrooms.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
What type of mushrooms can you put on a jacket? Button mushrooms.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
What do you call a gestalt consciousness of plants?
A chive mind.
What type of diet did the snowman go on?
The Meltdown Diet.
Why are coyotes howling in the night?
Because they can only see the cactuses in the day.
Why did the lettuce and the mushroom break up? The lettuce was pretty but the mushroom did not have much room for her in his life.
What do snowmen do on Christmas?
Play with the snow angels.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
Why won’t the mushroom buy a couch? - He prefers toadstools.
What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
My wife wanted to plant flowers
Problem is she hasn’t botany.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
What do you call a snowman party?
A snowball.
What do you call flowers who are bffs?
Buds.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
Why did the flower take her husband back after he cheated?
She rose above it.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
What do you call a slow skier?
A slopepoke!
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
Never go on a date with a cactus
They'll spike your drink
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