What plant do both Spaniards and French agree is the best?
Seaweed.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
Why are coyotes howling in the night?
Because they can only see the cactuses in the day.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
Never go on a date with a cactus
They'll spike your drink
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frost bite.
Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
Did you hear about one flower who went on a date with another flower?
It’s a budding romance.
What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job?
Take it or leaf it.
Did you hear about the flower who was struck in a hit and run?
She was leafed for dead.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
What do you call a giant mushroom? Hu-fungus.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
Why didn’t the flower get a second date?
He was garden variety.
What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A snowmobile!
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
What do you call a gestalt consciousness of plants?
A chive mind.
What did the flower do when she was challenged?
Rose to the occasion.
I always invite the mushroom to my party because he is such a fun-guy.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
If you are preparing jacket potatoes, your choice vegetables should be button mushrooms.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
Whats a bad flower pick-up line?
Lets put our tulips together?
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
How would you scare a snowman?
Get a hairdryer!
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
Why are we only concerned about snowmen not snowwomen?
Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
I dropped my cactus the other day
Worst part is, I caught it
What's the difference between a BMW and a Cactus?
Pricks are on the outside of Cactuses.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
Why do toadstools grow so close to each other? They do not need mushroom to grow.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
The fungi turned down seconds at dinner because he never had mushroom.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?
Brrrr – itos.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snow bank.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
What’s an ig?
A snow house without a loo!
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