Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
Why didn’t the flower get a second date?
He was garden variety.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
What type of room do you eat? A mush room.
What did the flower say after he told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg!
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
What do snowmen do on Christmas?
Play with the snow angels.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
How one snowman greets the other one?
Ice to meet you.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
What did the teacher say when he sent the naughty student out of the (mush)room? - You’re in big truffle young man!
Never go on a date with a cactus
They'll spike your drink
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
What do you call it when you plant a tree at each corner of a house?
A fourest.
Why did the flower take her husband back after he cheated?
She rose above it.
What type of diet did the snowman go on?
The Meltdown Diet.
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
What did the snowman eat?
Icebergs with chilli sauce.
What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present?
I hope thistle cheer you up.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
What did the mushroom’s sing when they won the closed-cup? - We are the champignons!
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
What do flowers study in college?
STEM.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
What's the difference between a BMW and a Cactus?
Pricks are on the outside of Cactuses.
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
What tree is bought the most at the plant store?
The poplar tree
What do Snowmen call their offspring?
Chill-dren.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
Why did the frog lose his job on the mushroom farm? He stole the toads-tool.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
What did one cactus say to the other cactus ?
"Lookin sharp !"
Mushrooms always hate going to school. They feel inferior before the rest because they are always so spore-d.
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snow bank.
A team of mushrooms was playing basketball against a team of cabbages. The mushrooms won. Everyone cheered for the champignons.
There’s two balloons in the desert. One says look out for that cactus!
The other goes What Cactussssss...
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
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